Friday 29 April 2011

i need a doctor

I'm about to lose my mind 
You've been gone for so long 
I'm running out of time 
I need a doctor 
Call me a doctor 
I need a doctor, doctor 
To bring me back to life

listening to this song over and over again. maybe till i can concentrate on what i'm reading. another paper tomorrow evening. Waste Management, need to read a lot but i dunno what i'm reading about and what i should read. confused.
maybe i think a lot. way too far and way too deep.
please.. i'm not strong. i think i can act cool but, i just can't stop thinking bout that. and i can't hold back my tears. i can act, i can lie.. nobody will know.. but i can't lie to myself.
damn. i can't focus and nothing in my mind now.

I told the world, one day I would pay it back.
Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back.
But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that.
Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black.
Hope, I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for 'em, they just say it's whack.
But they don't know what dope is.
And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this.
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest.
You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you.
But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do.
But it just dawned on me; you lost a son. Demon's fightin' you, it's dark.
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you.
I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue.
'Cause me and you, were like a crew. I was like your sidekick.
You gon' either wanna fight when I get off this f-cking mic,
Or you gon' hug me. But I'm out of options, there's nothing else I can do cause... 

eminem. even i can't sing your part, i love it so much. your songs, all of them, so meaningful. and i love them all.

It hurts when I see you struggle.
You come to me with ideas.
You say they're just pieces, so I'm puzzled.
'Cause the sh-t I hear is crazy,
But you're either getting lazy, or you don't believe in you no more.
Seems like your own opinions, not one you can form.
Can't make a decision, you keep questioning yourself,
Second guessing, and it's almost like your begging for my help.
Like, I'm YOUR leader.
You're supposed to f-cking be MY mentor.
I can endure no more!
I demand you remember who you are!
It was YOU, who believed in me,
When everyone was telling you, don't sign me.
Everyone at the f-cking label, lets tell the truth.
You risked your career for me, I know it as well as you.
Nobody wanted to f-ck with the white boy...
Dre, I'm crying in this booth.
You saved my life, now maybe it's my time to save yours.
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more.
But I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me.
Get up Dre! I'm dying, I need you, come back for f-ck's sake cause 

Im about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life

but now, i don't need a doctor. nobody can heal me. i just need to stop thinking stupid things.
ya Allah, give me some strength.
mama, i'm sorry. i can't be there helping you. i love u.
and you.. i'm sorry too. i'm not strong. yes, i am childish. i don't know how to behave like a big girl. i'm sorry.

this is jsut a stupid post because i can't focus and kaklong, you're on my mind while i'm doing this stupid post.. and i love u too.

2 comments:

  1. aiyokk xtaw sape buat
    aiyokk xtaww2
    alolo
    c'mon2! anda boleh! sikiiiiit jek lagi :)
    next week dah start perlumbaan perut sape sampai puncak dlu! hehe
    gudluck kngah :)

    -sye yg mls log in-ehe

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  2. taaaataaauuu....taaaataaauuuuu sape buat....
    2 paper saje lagi..dua2 harus baca ngan gigih..(tp sye ni pemalas harap maklum.)
    eh eh..bkn kamu je yg lumba ngan syamir ke?mne ade sye join...ajak adek,perut dy pasti sampai dlu..hehehe

    makaseh kaklong.. :)

    ReplyDelete